Nov. 30 | First Show of 2017 Announced!
WELL LOOKIE HERE: Our first show of 2017 is announced, and it’s at the @ACBeerFest on April 1! Tix: www.ACBeerFest.com AWW YISS.
Nov. 25 | BLIZNACK FRIZNIDAY
ONCE AGAIN, OUR ANNUAL NOT-AT-ALL-PREDICTABLE BLACK FRI SALE! 25% OFF EVERYTHANG! RISCSTORE.COM USE “BLACKFRI2016” AT CHECKOUT!
NEXT UP! DOWN UNDER! I simply cannot stress enough how many kangaroo and koala puns I toyed with before deciding to forsake them all in the name of cultural sensitivity, or something. Buuuuuut then I remembered you unleashed Yahoo Serious on us, on the entire unsuspecting world, and things haven’t been the same since. So as revenge, I’m still forsaking the marsupial jokes, but I plan on bugging the living crap out of the residents of four of your cities come March of 2017. You have been warned and have ample time to prepare your defenses and witty retorts.
PS This tour is missing a clever name, but it more than makes up for it with a photo of a sleeping lion. WITH ITS PAWS TUCKED UNDER ITS HEAD. COME ON.
ALL TICKETS GO ON SALE OCTOBER 28TH AT www.oztix.com.au
March 9 – Lazy Bones, Sydney, NSW
March 10 – Edinburgh Castle, Adelaide, SA
March 11 – The Spotted Mallard, Melbourne, VIC
March 12 – Crowbar Black, Brisbane, QLD
THE RETURN TO THE CAMPFIRE TOUR! NORTH AMERICA!
I could easily sit here in my pajamas and tell you there will be no Toh Kay US tour this year, but I’d be lying. Partially because there IS a Toh Kay US tour this year and partially because I don’t wear pajamas because I don’t sleep; I just sit with my hands folded, tapping my foot patiently until the sun decides to get back to work, the lazy sonuvabitch. Essentially my pants would be on fire, and I think there’s been enough of that going around lately.
Here’s what’s different: IT’S LONGER. I swear, I have no idea what you guys are feeding these tours but they seem to get longer every year. Pretty soon I’m going to be announcing random week, week-and-a-half long periods of me not being on tour, because it’ll be easier. And more exciting! “For the next two weeks, I will be raking my yard and learning origami. Back on tour as soon as I fill my living room with delicate little paper swans.”
So! The tour is called The Return To The Campfire Tour and it goes from November 21st until December 14th, It dabbles in Canada for a day or two, and a good ol time should be had by everyone involved, or so I hope. Actually, if, say, one person (ok, three, tops) doesn’t have a good time, that would still be a pretty decent outcome. Ok, let’s just say, preemptively, everyone will have a good time, except for three people, who will likely be disappointed. I apologize in advance to the three of you, but you guys really need to lighten up. I’m trying here.
Ok, I’m cutting myself off here, my digressions have grown digressions of their own and those digressions are tapping their feet impatiently, as I tap mine patiently. It’s almost dawn.
Tickets on sale Friday! Requisite warning: MANY of these will sell out, so please do the thing where you buy tickets in advance (I believe the popular term for this is “buying tickets in advance”). Ok, bye!
11/21 Tampa FL
11/22 Atlanta GA
11/23 Nashville TN
11/25 Asbury Park NJ
11/26 New York NY
11/27 Philadelphia PA
11/28 Boston MA
11/29 Montreal QC
11/30 Toronto ON
12/02 Detroit MI
12/03 Chicago IL
12/05 Denver CO
12/06 Salt Lake City UT
12/08 San Diego CA
12/09 Los Angeles CA
12/12 Seattle WA
12/13 Portland OR
12/14 San Francisco CA